Back On Land

On Monday I returned from a week-long vacation in the Caribbean on the Disney Dream cruise ship with my parents, littlest sister, grandparents, and one cousin. It was a fantastic week of sun, sleep, salt, snorkeling, and sweets. Wow, I didn't even try for that alliteration! That's just how good it was. 

The biggest adjustment was not learning to move with the ocean swells, or not having to pay for anything on the ship; it was the disconnection from the rest of life. We of course had no cell service or internet and I was surprised at how much I missed connecting with my friends after just a couple of days. It was a serious adjustment to post on Facebook the funny thing that just happened, or text someone when the crowds were just too much. It was incredibly eye-opening to how much I rely on technology. I still like to think of myself as a country girl who's been called to this crazy urban world, but it really showed me how much I have consigned myself to this lifestyle. I have trained myself to not seek silence and solitude and rest. I have learned to fill my moments with tweets, movies, music, and texts. 

Here at home I have no roommate or office mates and I sometimes go a whole day without seeing anyone. On the ship I was never alone sharing a room with my whole family on a ship of 4,000 guests and another 1,500 staff, but I had better solitude there than I have at home in quite awhile. 

So now that I'm back on land, the challenge is to merge the two. Can I re-enter my life of ministry, family, friends, housework, etc, while maintaining the priority of solitude, rest and reflection? The jury is still out on that one. I continue to have feelings of swaying on a ship, so I'm not sure I'm totally back yet. 

I'm On A Boat

This morning my sister Kelsey and I were talking about the book Sticky Church by Larry Osbourne (which I highly recommend), and the nature of our churches and the individuals that make them up. She used an awesome analogy that I have thought of before (and I’m sure many others have) but she took it to a whole new level. 

Kelsey and her husband Dave both work at a large church that has been in the cities for 125 years! It’s not a mega church, but it has maybe up to 1000 regular attenders and something like 20,000 children. At least that’s what their children’s programming makes it seem like! 

By contrast I work for 3-year-old church plant, we have about 100 committed adults but the 40 somethings are called old, and our regularly scheduled children’s ministry is a nursery. And sometimes that’s empty. 

She told me about a young man (non-pastor) in their church who is really frustrated that the church is not latching on to the renewed vision which has been presented in the last 4 months for where they need to go next. He wants to storm the kingdom of darkness now and can’t understand why people aren’t aren’t carrying the torch with as much vigor as him. 

Then Kelsey proceeded to explain that their church is like a barge or a cruise ship: there are a lot of people on board, it takes a long time to turn it around and you have to be careful to not hit icebergs or other hazards. This young man in contrast is like a jet ski. He can tear off in the direction of his choosing, and if he changes his mind he can make a 180 degree turn with very little wake.

Now what if this same guy gets married? He is going to need a bigger boat! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) He may think that he can just throw his wife on the back of the jet ski and keep up the same speed, but at the first hairpin she’s going to go skidding angrily across the water. So maybe this new couple needs something more like a canoe. They’re both responsible for getting the boat anywhere, but it’s a little slower. And they will need to watch the waves. If they don’t work together and they hit waves at the wrong angle, they’re both sunk. (Some couples opt for a fishing boat--more room, goes faster, but only one person can control the motor at a time.) 

Someday they’ll have children and it’s time to get a speed boat. Life speed picks up, you’re carrying more passengers, but you also have to be careful not to whip the skier you’re pulling into the reeds, or into the path of an obnoxious jet skier. Though he can get out of the way quickly if he needs to. 

Compare the nuclear family to the church family, and you’re back to the barge! With each new life phase, an individual becomes a family, there are new cautions and people to consider. 

My church feels more like a catamaran. A catamaran is like a sailboat but with two hulls connected by a canvas or solid platform. The beauty of the catamaran is that it can carry a lot of weight for its size, and it’s surprisingly maneuverable and stable for its shape. The danger is that it’s surprisingly maneuverable. It may not capsize even when one end is 60 degrees in the air, but it is easy to suddenly veer off course if you don’t know what you’re doing. 

We have only two main focuses (Sunday mornings and Community Groups) and can’t offer all of the services of a passenger or freight ship. But wow, do we have wind in our sails! We are powered by the fervor or 100 jet skis. Where my sister’s challenge is to get the ship turning at all I am just hanging on for dear life, trying not to capsize, and enjoying the ride. 

Courage and Fear, part 1

A couple days ago I used a topical bible index to look up the words Courage and Fear. It was an older book so Fear redirected me to Cowardice, and I happen to like that alliteration. :)

So I copied the ones that stood out to me most into a list so that I have them to read/meditate on at will. Of course they came up in biblical order, so here's the one at the top of the list:

How could one have chased a thousand, and two have put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, and the LORD had given them up? Deut 32:30

I immediately loved the confidence, security, and assurance it gives, but a few days later I read the entire chapter.

The context of this verse is nothing like I thought it was. I expected it to be one of those situations where the Israelite people were terribly outnumbered and yet they succeeded. Instead, it is about the Lord contemplating destroying his people because of their disobedience and using their enemies to do so. But He decides not to because he doesn't want the enemies to get the wrong impression that it was their might that defeated the Israelites when really they could only win if the Lord were to hand the Israelites over! God is still in control and the Lord is still the one who gives victory, but this realization puts a completely different (or at least fuller) perspective on things. If anything, it kind of makes me feel more secure because even if I am disobedient, get myself into trouble, and make myself easy prey for my enemies, they still can't harm me without the Lord's hand being involved.