Back On Land

On Monday I returned from a week-long vacation in the Caribbean on the Disney Dream cruise ship with my parents, littlest sister, grandparents, and one cousin. It was a fantastic week of sun, sleep, salt, snorkeling, and sweets. Wow, I didn't even try for that alliteration! That's just how good it was. 

The biggest adjustment was not learning to move with the ocean swells, or not having to pay for anything on the ship; it was the disconnection from the rest of life. We of course had no cell service or internet and I was surprised at how much I missed connecting with my friends after just a couple of days. It was a serious adjustment to post on Facebook the funny thing that just happened, or text someone when the crowds were just too much. It was incredibly eye-opening to how much I rely on technology. I still like to think of myself as a country girl who's been called to this crazy urban world, but it really showed me how much I have consigned myself to this lifestyle. I have trained myself to not seek silence and solitude and rest. I have learned to fill my moments with tweets, movies, music, and texts. 

Here at home I have no roommate or office mates and I sometimes go a whole day without seeing anyone. On the ship I was never alone sharing a room with my whole family on a ship of 4,000 guests and another 1,500 staff, but I had better solitude there than I have at home in quite awhile. 

So now that I'm back on land, the challenge is to merge the two. Can I re-enter my life of ministry, family, friends, housework, etc, while maintaining the priority of solitude, rest and reflection? The jury is still out on that one. I continue to have feelings of swaying on a ship, so I'm not sure I'm totally back yet. 

I'm On A Boat

This morning my sister Kelsey and I were talking about the book Sticky Church by Larry Osbourne (which I highly recommend), and the nature of our churches and the individuals that make them up. She used an awesome analogy that I have thought of before (and I’m sure many others have) but she took it to a whole new level. 

Kelsey and her husband Dave both work at a large church that has been in the cities for 125 years! It’s not a mega church, but it has maybe up to 1000 regular attenders and something like 20,000 children. At least that’s what their children’s programming makes it seem like! 

By contrast I work for 3-year-old church plant, we have about 100 committed adults but the 40 somethings are called old, and our regularly scheduled children’s ministry is a nursery. And sometimes that’s empty. 

She told me about a young man (non-pastor) in their church who is really frustrated that the church is not latching on to the renewed vision which has been presented in the last 4 months for where they need to go next. He wants to storm the kingdom of darkness now and can’t understand why people aren’t aren’t carrying the torch with as much vigor as him. 

Then Kelsey proceeded to explain that their church is like a barge or a cruise ship: there are a lot of people on board, it takes a long time to turn it around and you have to be careful to not hit icebergs or other hazards. This young man in contrast is like a jet ski. He can tear off in the direction of his choosing, and if he changes his mind he can make a 180 degree turn with very little wake.

Now what if this same guy gets married? He is going to need a bigger boat! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) He may think that he can just throw his wife on the back of the jet ski and keep up the same speed, but at the first hairpin she’s going to go skidding angrily across the water. So maybe this new couple needs something more like a canoe. They’re both responsible for getting the boat anywhere, but it’s a little slower. And they will need to watch the waves. If they don’t work together and they hit waves at the wrong angle, they’re both sunk. (Some couples opt for a fishing boat--more room, goes faster, but only one person can control the motor at a time.) 

Someday they’ll have children and it’s time to get a speed boat. Life speed picks up, you’re carrying more passengers, but you also have to be careful not to whip the skier you’re pulling into the reeds, or into the path of an obnoxious jet skier. Though he can get out of the way quickly if he needs to. 

Compare the nuclear family to the church family, and you’re back to the barge! With each new life phase, an individual becomes a family, there are new cautions and people to consider. 

My church feels more like a catamaran. A catamaran is like a sailboat but with two hulls connected by a canvas or solid platform. The beauty of the catamaran is that it can carry a lot of weight for its size, and it’s surprisingly maneuverable and stable for its shape. The danger is that it’s surprisingly maneuverable. It may not capsize even when one end is 60 degrees in the air, but it is easy to suddenly veer off course if you don’t know what you’re doing. 

We have only two main focuses (Sunday mornings and Community Groups) and can’t offer all of the services of a passenger or freight ship. But wow, do we have wind in our sails! We are powered by the fervor or 100 jet skis. Where my sister’s challenge is to get the ship turning at all I am just hanging on for dear life, trying not to capsize, and enjoying the ride. 

Courage and Fear, part 1

A couple days ago I used a topical bible index to look up the words Courage and Fear. It was an older book so Fear redirected me to Cowardice, and I happen to like that alliteration. :)

So I copied the ones that stood out to me most into a list so that I have them to read/meditate on at will. Of course they came up in biblical order, so here's the one at the top of the list:

How could one have chased a thousand, and two have put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, and the LORD had given them up? Deut 32:30

I immediately loved the confidence, security, and assurance it gives, but a few days later I read the entire chapter.

The context of this verse is nothing like I thought it was. I expected it to be one of those situations where the Israelite people were terribly outnumbered and yet they succeeded. Instead, it is about the Lord contemplating destroying his people because of their disobedience and using their enemies to do so. But He decides not to because he doesn't want the enemies to get the wrong impression that it was their might that defeated the Israelites when really they could only win if the Lord were to hand the Israelites over! God is still in control and the Lord is still the one who gives victory, but this realization puts a completely different (or at least fuller) perspective on things. If anything, it kind of makes me feel more secure because even if I am disobedient, get myself into trouble, and make myself easy prey for my enemies, they still can't harm me without the Lord's hand being involved.

The Critic and the Bird

What music have I not heard?

What song have I not sung?

Only the bird’s song

has escaped me.

The critic never sings,

but judges the bird on his song.

Evaluating pitch and rhythm,

he misses the melody.

What good is pitch,

if there is no joy?

What rhythm truly beats in time,

without a metronomic heart?

I could compose a thousand songs,

but never could I silence the critic

or improve the bird.

Coffee and Convos

Last weekend I had the chance to speak to a group of women in leadership at an E. Free Church here in the cities. We had everyone from the 79 year old woman who has been serving her entire life, and still has more fire in her than some of my own peers, to the 27 year old who recently taken on a position of leadership for the first time. The only similarities among them were that they all loved Jesus and they all had a heart to serve the women around them.

I was invited to come and talk to them about mentoring. To be honest, I didn't really know what I could tell these women that they didn't already know. When I first arrived, I asked the leader of the event how old the youngest attender was. Come to find out, I was the youngest one there! I really was the odd one out when it came to life experience and history in ministry. But truth is truth regardless of how old the voice, right? Whatever else, I wanted these women to feel encouraged and leave with a renewed perspective of why they do what they do.

The biggest thing we discussed was what redefining our idea of mentoring. Most people have a top-down model in their heads. A person seeking mentoring has little experience and wants to become a better person, so they seek out a mentor who is older, wiser, and has time to focus on them and their issues. This idea is rather rigid and really self-centered, if you think about it. Visually, this looks like two people sitting across from one another at a coffee shop having a conversation about life. This is not a bad thing, but mentoring is about so much more than just coffee and conversation.

The alternative is a constellation of mentors (stealing vocabulary from Cadre Ministries...thanks guys!), where I am being poured into by mentors but I am also pouring into the lives of others around me (peers) and following me (disciples). In order to pour into someone's life (or put more accurately, to overflow into someone's life) we must be a part of their life. Not just sitting at coffee shops, but working, serving, playing together. This is so much more how Jesus did it--he took his disciples everywhere! They watched him lead, teach, care, and rebuke. Then he sent them out to try it themselves.

If every believer was overflowing what the Lord was doing in their life, truly sharing life, with those around them, the kingdom of hell would have a lot more to fear.

Whenever I hear "constellation" I think of Daniel 12:3 which, speaking of the last days when the dead will rise, says, "And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." The light of millions of stars could shine Jesus into the darkest crevices of people's hearts.

Mentoring is not for the purpose of making individual people stronger, smarter, or feel better about themselves. It is about building them up to build up the Kingdom of God. The Church is not a school, or a philosophical idea in which we help students iron out the rough spots in their thinking; it is a place where we ought to be equipping warriors with the weapons they need for the battle! This spiritual life is a battle, and not one of us can fight it alone. We need as many warriors as there are stars in the universe!

Whenever I start to wonder if this is all worth it--all the time put into an individual who walks away, all the energy put into developing a group that ends up turning on you--I remember that this is what Christ has called us for and has promised to be with us to the end. "Go and Make Disciples." Until He returns I can do no less.

All you have to be...

This weekend I was up at Shamineau again for the Scrap N' Stamp retreat. What? Yes, It's called Scrap N' Stamp. 180 women come up for the weekend (some stay till Monday!) and scrapbook their photos. I'm not going to spend any more time explaining it, because unless you've seen it or something similar, you'll never understand. :)

Anyway, at these retreats I give chair massages to the ladies for a small fee. This weekend I did more backrubs than I have ever done in one weekend! I was exhausted. This is virtually my only responsibility aside from leading devotions Sunday morning for those who want to come. Saturday night I finally went home at 3am, and just decided I would figure out what I was doing for devos when I woke up. I didn't have to give them until 11am, so I had plenty of time.

Come morning, I roll over and my eyes land on the clock: 10:57. No!!!!! I jump out of bed, try to look a little bit like a person, and call my mom to tell her I was on the way. I had five minutes on the road to decide what the heck I was going to talk about with these women! Then a quote from my dad came into my head, "all you have to be is 30 seconds ahead." Okay, thanks Dad, but now I only have 20 seconds! Ah!

I arrive at camp and walk into the room where there are 15 or so ladies waiting for me. I tell them to keep talking amongst themselves while I "get organized" aka, figure out what the heck I'm doing. If you know me at all, you know I always tend to cut it close when planning teaching things, but I have never in my life been standing in front of a group not knowing what I was about to talk on. It was a rush.

Then it hit me. "I'll talk about rest!" I thought. "That's wonderfully ironic, it's an easy soapbox for me, and these women are all mothers who never get a weekend for themselves. Perfect!" So I naturally swing over to Matthew 11:28, but there's not enough there. It's pretty straight forward, and I dont think I have enough to say about it. "Where's the hook? The unexpected element? The less obvious truth? Come on..." I know I'm running out of moments to stall. Then I find it. It ended up going somthing like this:

After admitting I had only awoke 15 minutes earlier, I told them I wanted to talk about rest. That got a good laugh.

Matt. 11:28-30 goes like this: "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

What do you hear? Rest, comfort, open arms, gentleness, etc.
Is there anything here that is discouraging, frustrating, or unsettling? The first thing we see here is the invitation to rest, but we tend to ignore the command to take on a yoke. And not even my own yoke, but someone else's! at the risk of sounding selfish (aren't we all, anyway?), why am I carrying someone else's burden, no matter how light it is?? How is that rest, and why does Jesus have the permission to tell us to pick it up?

Now before you throw me out the window as a heretic, understand that I am not asking these questions with the implication of the answer. Rather, I am asking them because I want the answer I know to be true to be proven from the text, not just because it feels right.

Zoom out a bit. Matt. 11:25-27: "At that time Jesus declared, 'I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hiddn these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor..."

My Bible makes this all one paragraph. But what does the Father and Son knowing each other have to do with resting, and the yoke? It all comes down to authority. Jesus is establishing here the fact that everything we associate with God, omniscience, omnipresence, omnipotence, is also true of Jesus. The Father has given Jesus ALL authority!

Verse 27 could sound very elitist. I guess it is, in some ways. Him being God and all. But in our humanity when we hear someone being elitist we also hear that person saying things that cut them off from the rest of the little people.

Jesus would be totally justified here if he would have said, "no one know the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him, so you better shape up if you want to get let into the party."
Or, "...to whom the Son chooses to reveal him, so suck it up if I don't pick you."
Or, "I have have authority, so pick up the yoke, pansy!"

But he doesn't.

He says only the Son knows the Father...So Come. What a good God we have who has all power in the universe and beyond but he calls us to himself to come and rest. And he has all the rights to tell us what yoke to carry. And because he is good, he calls us to carry a better load than we have to start.

One of the ladies noted that a yoke goes over the back to two oxen, and they cannot pull in opposite directions. I believe there is nothing more tiring that trying to control something that is out of your hands. Like backseat driving, or pining over the poor choices of a loved one. Jesus knows how exhausting this is. If we simply let go of what we don't have control over anyway, recognize He has all the authority, we will begin to learn to rest.

That, I believe is where the comfort in Jesus' authority comes from. Not from the fact that he can wallop my enemies, which he can; not that he could wipe me off the face of the earth, which I deserve; but from the fact that Jesus is in utter control frees me up to not worry about it. I can let go, follow the Master, and pull the burden he has for me. Nothing is more freeing than that.

The Complete History of My Recent Life (Abridged)

Last night my sister Kelsey and my cousins Emilee and Mikki and myself took a roadtrip to Eau Claire, WI and saw a show. We have been bemoaning the fact that we're all in the same city and never hang out! So we got together to see The Reduced Shakespeare Company's "The Complete History of America (abridged)". It was fantastic! There were moments what were borderline inappropriate, but for the most part, they just fly through 50,000 years of American history in 90 minutes. Seriously. It's a riot. I had been aware of them for awhile, but never seen a show. Eau Claire was the closest they were coming to the Twin Cities, so I knew we had to take the opportunity. I would highly recommend checking out their website www.reducedshakespeare.com. All in all, it was a great time of catching up as cousins and laughing a lot! Good Times!